My grandmother taught me, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” These are words that I try to live by.
I think that this is one of the reasons that I haven’t been writing as much as I want to. Yes, the September start-up at school was busy and didn’t leave me with a lot of extra time at night (and still doesn’t, the difference now being that we’re halfway through October), but I think that I was worried about how my writing would come across.
Over the past three weeks, there has been a huge swing in how my running life is going. I headed a learn-to-run clinic for 6 weeks (which ended last weekend), worked at an expo and ran a solid 10K. Even with such fun things happening, I was down on my running and had problems putting my thoughts down without sounding like a negative Nelly.
On Tuesday night, when I ran with Shawn, we talked about the 5K that we raced the day before, going over what went well and what didn’t. Aside from feeling lousy, I knew that I didn’t push myself enough. I held back. And, then I said it. “I just don’t have the confidence yet to push myself more.”
That was it. I realized that I’ve been holding back for the past six weeks, worried that I might aggravate my leg. At the same time, though, I’ve been doing everything right. I’ve kept up with physiotherapy and regular routines at home to strengthen the muscles, I’m wearing orthotics now and I’m going to acupuncture on a regular basis. Perhaps I’m doing so much that I’ve convinced myself that things are worse than they really are.
When the words popped out, I had an “Aha!” moment. I do have it in me. I am ready to push myself.
This weekend, I ran 12 miles – a distance that I haven’t seen in months. Better yet, though, I did that after running close to 5 miles less than 24 hours before.
My plan is set for the next two and a half months and I’m excited about it. This gal is ready to go.
I’m feeling strong. I’m ready to push.
I know exactly how you feel. I had been very tentative with my training (mostly in the speed work area) since I started back up in May, after my achilles issue. It wasn't until the end of September that I decided to really get my butt in gear. I'm also still to wary to run in racing flats without my orthotics, but at this point in my fitness a few less ounces on my feet aren't going to make or break a race.
Congratulations and best of luck as you dive back in.
Your grandmother is wise! Mine taught me the same thing about keeping my mouth shut. Somedays it is harder than others though.